I Was Afraid to Share This

I Was Afraid to Share This

I consider authenticity one of the highest values in my business and in my life. Ever since I was a small child, I told it like it was, even if it meant getting punched by my older brothers (who were always trying to control me!) “You’re not the big boss of me!” was my favorite saying, and I said it often.

When I got older, I spoke truth to authority. I may have even been known as a ‘bitch’ to some. Surely a rebel to others. Maybe just a weirdo to yet others. And simply, “ex-employee,” to my bosses!

Yet later I became a bonafide revolutionary activist and journalist, interviewing revolutionaries from freedom movements all over the world. I developed some original theories around sexuality and revolution there were unpopular even among my own group. I was very ‘out there.’

So when did I decide to keep quiet?

I think it was around the time I started my own business. That was when … just a little bit here and there, I let fears about my potential clients being turned off come in and start controlling my actions. I became less of a rebel.

I didn’t discuss my beliefs and fears about politics or the state of the world. And it’s not like the world was getting any better. There was a lot I was trying to ignore for fear or turning off my following. Maybe for fear that I couldn’t do anything about it. And for fear that someone would decide not to hire me if they knew my political beliefs. When I was just scraping by, that was a HUGE concern for me.

One of my clients quoted me the other day, something I didn’t remember writing. “Sometimes it’s been so long that we’ve had certain desires, we decide it’s less painful to repress them than to continue to hope they can come true.” My desire to contribute to the creation of a totally new, totally human, socially just, earth-honoring society was suffering in silence.

Sort of. At home and with my friends, I was still a revolutionary visionary and obnoxious debater when challenged. Even with my clients, it would turn out we were totally aligned (like attracts like) and I was free to discuss these topics.

It was just that in my marketing was, as my friend Suzanne Falter put it, “milk toast in comparison to what you really believe.”

So I’ve been slowly coming out of the closet over the last three years. I titled my book “Branding from the Heart: How to Share Your Purpose through Marketing that Attracts Your Tribe and Inspires a Revolution,” and I began featuring photos from my revolutionary activist days in my webinars. I began to own who I really and and why I’m here on the planet.

So the other day I was working on the slide show for my free webinar “Attracting Your Soul Tribe Online.” I was following a thread of “Why are you here, on this planet, at this time? Isn’t it time to really share your purpose with the world?”

[You can get the replay to that webinar HERE BTW]

I thought of what’s going on in the world right now, and how much I want to do something about it. I thought I could share a photo of something that’s going on, something I care about, to help folks get in touch with why we’re really here.

 Syrian children march in the refugee camp in Jordan. The number of Children in this camp exceeds 60% of the total number of refugees hence the name "Children's camp". Some of them lost their relatives, but others lost their parents.


Syrian children march in the refugee camp in Jordan. The number of Children in this camp exceeds 60% of the total number of refugees hence the name “Children’s camp”. Some of them lost their relatives, but others lost their parents.

I found this photo of the Syrian refugees and I brought it up on my screen to contemplate it.

I thought of these people who have lost everything, who have no place to go. And we have so much, we even have our own businesses, and yet we are not really talking about it. How is our being silent helping these people? As I looked into the faces in this photo, I wept.

And I decided this was too intense for a marketing webinar. I was worried that folks would be too upset and leave the call. I was concerned that folks would think I was pulling their heart strings so I could sell them a website. I was afraid that I’d be seen as a manipulative marketer, and that I’d be misunderstood. And most of all, I was embarrassed that I don’t have a solution.

So I didn’t share this picture.

The webinar was still powerful. It’s important to hear that you can be yourself in your marketing and attract soul-aligned folks from around the world. Just that is enough to change someone’s life for the better. And that’s good.

The question is, at what cost did I not share this photo? Rather than hope beyond reason that I could have an impact, I chose to repress it. The main reason I’m sharing it with you now is because my revolutionary coach said, “you have to tell it like it is. Follow your gut and say, ‘this is what I stand for.’ “

And I realized she was right. I thought I was protecting you, my peeps, from this horrifying truth that we don’t have a solution for. But really I just was hiding out.

Where are you hiding out? And why are you doing it? What do you care about that you haven’t been sharing?

I truly believe we must begin integrating our beliefs and what we stand for in our marketing, even if we are afraid to turn off potential clients. Or we’re worried about being too pushy. Or we’re uncertain of the solution. The first step to real change is to speak out.

Are you with me?

Please use the comment field below to contribute to this conversation.

Comments

Comments

  1. I love that you eventually shared this, Julia. I am discovering the truth about law of attraction and have chosen to remove all the war images from my facebook timeline. I initially reacted very emotionally when I heard about the UK decision to become involved. Although I felt I needed to speak out, I also felt torn between focusing on what I want to happen rather than what is happening. I sought guidance and feel better about the decision to focus on love and peace. Yes, we currently live in a world where there are atrocities going on. There are also brilliant and beautiful loving things happening all the time. The mainstream media would have us focus our attention on the terrible events, which they try to convince us we have no control over. I believe we can turn it around if each and every person focused entirely on love and stepped into that daily. Moment by moment. I saw a photo of the Canadian welcome of Syrian families. There is something we can do. If you have a spare room, open it up to a family who has nowehere to go.
    Something I’ve always felt passionate about is the connecting of different cultures. Having grown up in a family where both parents are from different ethnic backgrounds, I’ve often wondered why so many have issues with people who are from a different racial background. What I’ve come to realise is that this is not what I need to focus on. What I need to focus on is unity, connection, respect, harmony, love, compassion, valuing the differences we have, and learning from other cultures. Turn our focus from what we currently see, to what we want it to be.
    Because of my personal experience of racial integration, I have wondered about offering my services to people who wish to get married or be in a relationship with someone from a different ethnic background. I’ve shied away from it. Perhaps this article you’ve written has sparked something. Perhaps I need to focus my attention on people like me. People who live in a space of ethnic acceptance and openness, who are open to being in a relationship with someone from a different ethnic background.
    This was a powerful article, Julia. I felt compelled to respond. I am open to continuing the conversation.
    Thank you for being you and standing up for your beliefs!
    Love,
    Maeve

    • juliastege says:

      Thank you Maeve. I honor your decision to focus on the positive. I had come to that conclusion many years ago, but over time I realized for me, it was amounting to repression. In Law of Attraction teachings, Abraham points out that we do want contrast, even though it’s uncomfortable, so we can choose what we do want. We cannot have freedom and have only one choice. I’m not going to suddenly come out with horrifying imagery designed to freak folks out, but I will be more aware when I’m holding back my truth for fear. Thanks again for contributing to this conversation.

      • I love that you’re inviting people to join in the conversation. There is much to be learned here. Thank you for reminding me to not hold back my truth for fear of what others might think. As you mentioned, I am also able to speak my truth when I’m with people I feel connected to and who I feel safe to do so with. It’s being willing to take the next step and speak it out loud to those who don’t yet know me. There’s a lot to be said for standing in one’s own truth and speaking from that centre. Regardless of what others think.

  2. Thank you for sharing your own fears Julia. I have found some of the best mentors for me are those who acknowledge their current struggles as well as the insights that have brought them success. It breaks the illusion that successful people have different “DNA” than the average person; which feeds the false belief that “I can never do what they are doing.” Whether it’s feeling different and alone, productivity struggles, or fears of upsetting people I think it’s helpful to understand everyone has stuff they are going through as well as tremendous strengths and talents.

    Ha – that made me think of receiving a gift that comes in one of those nearly impossible to open plastic cases or battery needed things that do not come with the battery. They are great gifts and a pain all at the same time. I imagine there are people who have considered me a gift and a pain all rolled into one. If we realize that every single person on the planet is a gift and a pain rolled into one perhaps our tolerance of those whom we initially see as pain will grow into greater acceptance. And then, we decide to explore more deeply how those people are really a gift.
    Thank you for sharing your fear.
    Barbara Robins
    HappyBusinessResults.com

  3. Love your article Julia! I can relate to what you have mentioned! Thank you for standing up for what you believe in and for shining your Light !

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